commitment to praying for the next generation!

At 2 years old they throw chairs. God subdue their angry passions. Give them a vision of submission to Christ, in spite of their anger and depravity. It is not for no reason that we care for them. Give grace and repentance to these, children of Yours. for Christ's sake. Amen.

Here we go! the nurses' attitudes always seemed condescending.

They have to harden themselves because they see travail all day and every day. It is rare to have a sympathetic nurse in the delivery room.

Why did you have them, then? If ever that question seemed relevant, it is in the intensity of travail. Why, indeed? My Ethan was the first to have seen me in a drugged and painless state. It was as though I had discovered a great new thing. I am seeing the contraction and there is no pain intensifying. Halleluia and Glory to a God, who would comfort us in such a way.

That was 17 years ago, that my second earthly son was born into this world. Comfort to the body is still no comfort to the soul of the bereaved mother. Are you restored? Can you forget? Does it hurt any less? No. Still, the happiness of the joy of this young man blooming into manhood is a great and enjoyable thing. I know that God's hand is guiding his life and I see him showing his individuality and I am grateful to have gotten to know him. Thank you God for Ethan's birthday.Bless those dear nurses and doctors, Lord and my husband.

It was with eager anticipation that I sat in the sanctuary, awaiting a Word from the Lord!

It is rare, these days, to get into the sanctuary. I had brooded for weeks and complained aloud of my dissatisfaction at our lateness habit.

Yesterday was no different, but we found a way into the sanctuary in spite of it. I was delighted that the holiday had found the sanctuary less full than usual. I settled my soul in my usual seat, which was completely empty. I entered wholeheartedly into the worship service. We extolled Him and praised, as is our habit, but not taken for granted. We requested God to come and He did not disappoint us.

Pastor wasn't there. That was disappointing. Each week, his presence seems to represent an overcoming of obstacles and hindrances to get to the house of prayer. He doesn't keep his reticence from us. That is the essential part of his leadership. Like my hero Horatio, he seemingly walks right into the oncoming cannons of the battle to instruct us in the way. It truly feels like that, each week. He is truly aware of the spiritual centrality of the thing that he does, each week and he guides us through the spiritual minefields with courageous fear and fierceness, as ironic as that sounds. He doesn't miss the fact that he has fallen here and there and his spirit seems to get up from the fallenness and give us instruction over his body on the floor. That is what we, who struggle, love about Pastor Loran. It is not a cultural show or a tradition. It is somewhat an imploring of God to own us and to give us direction for life; it is the fruit of consistent and constant devotion to worship.

Yesterday, was another viewpoint and I was prepared for the doctrinal upheaval that this would cause in our perhaps overly scrutinizing crew. As Pastor Conn laid out his introduction, I was taking notes as to how I would explain his approach to the superpreacher and the antipreacher crowd which was sure to have it out, on the way home. God comforted my heart and gave me grace to listen for myself and not for the pro and cons that I knew I would face.

This one is for you, He seemed to say. This is an unsermon for an unlistener and that is you! Thank you, Lord, I love Him for knowing the me that is truly me. I love His presence and I hate the fact that familiarity breeds contempt for even the most beautiful interplay on the earth, God's speaking to His people. I will continue to listen to God and I will continue to try to grow in my desire for Him, inspite of the self-seekers and the supertraditionalists that hear and receive in a different way than I do.

This was God coming as a Grandpa and putting His hand on your back and telling you to continue to give ear to the word of the Lord from every segment that He will speak. Don't miss Him for the arguments and debates. I do receive that!

And sure enough, the fireworks started, as soon as we got into the car together. Did we get a sermon, today or not? Why? I love those questions. It means I have listeners in my family.

Lord, We desire not to leave loved ones behind!

Mourning Mohammed Ali!

I spent my whole life looking at my father's faith experience! He was my subject of incessant concern and prayer for his soul. I could see the reasons behind my father's conversion to Islam, even though it was far more secretive a thing than Mohammed's. I could understand the sense of human demoralization that made him turn to a more respectful alternative. I still expect that at the end, his heart knew that Jesus is no respecter of persons.

I am thankful that some of the dehumanizing aspects of American Christianity have been dealt with. I am thankful that we don't live in the civil rights era and that there are many churches with multicultural congregations. I am thankful that much work has been done to grow our hearts to love other cultures and people groups, in America. We will have to answer to God for the souls who couldn't see themselves as made in the image of God, because of our prejudices. Dear God, please continue to draw the souls who have experienced such demoralization of faith, that their discouragements blind them to the true truth. Make our churches real expressions of love and faith, so that others can see the Jesus is real. I am the one, who needs prayer in this regard, much. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Is my faith "Glorious" or "Spurious"?

Christ works in us, we are well aware, but...Do we ever go to that point in self-examination, that challenges our motivations? Christ paid it all and we don't have to worry that His works will not be efficacious. But, He bids us to examine ourselves, that we be not deceived.
At least, we should look at seasons and say, did God author this season of my faith, or did I author this season. The more we know about God and truth, the more we can pen, that which looks like God has authored. Beware, my soul, that Christ is the author and finisher of your faith and not your own hand.
I imagine God handing me the book of my faith, in the judgment and it is alot shorter than I thought it would be, with many chapters deleted for having been penned by my own hand. God forbid. May my faith book be penned by Jesus' completed work and not by my imagination.

The Pen is mightier...But what, when I am impaled on my own pen?

We are bid to write. Our hearts and minds take thoughts captive and pen them. Did you not know that they are alive, those words you wrote? Beware!

I had no idea that the words that I imbibe and especially those that I have written and reimbibed again and again would take root in my soul as they have. Pray, Pray Pray! Dear God, give me deliverance from this plight. My mind is rolling in the mud and I cannot get it out. It jumps into the mud and I cannot get it out. Like that child, demoniac that Jesus delivered, my mind jumps from the fire into the water and back and forth and I had no idea that my words and mind would do this. Take my mind captive, Lord to Your Word. Help me find deliverance and relief from the thoughts of my mind. Help the accomplishing of this good goal be glorifying to You alone, In Jesus Name. Amen

Help me take my thoughts captive to the Word of God. Help my words be the anvil to bring captivity captive and give me the grace, through the study of Your Word, to be protected from the power of the Devil who seeks to steal my mind and kill my intellect and destroy all my live efforts, ie. my sanity, my family and my soul. Help, Dearest Lord that all these things will stand and that they would not be the ransom for the devil as he makes it look to me, in His temptations. I had no idea that the rootedness of Words would be such a spiritual battle. God grant victory, for the sake of Christ and His Church. In Jesus' Name. Amen