Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Only Christ is perfectly faithful.

Somedays, it feels like He's not there. 23 years ago was the very furthest I felt from my Lord. I still ask God where He was on this day. I know in my mind that He was there. Ju and I sat on the phone not able to sleep or think of anything else but a funeral on the next day. How could You allow my baby to die? I have since seen that death and not God snatched my baby. He is sovereign, but death is the snatcher and it is a bitter pill to swallow, when it comes to your home. Jesus came that we might have life and that more abundantly. Truly, God was not the author of death. We discovered it through sin. I felt God come near when I gave Him the grief of my heart and resigned myself to the truth that He is greater, even than the pain and grief of sin and death. I celebrate that even when God seems absent, as in anguish and grief and war and many unfair and sin-wrought things of this life, He is present.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I was in the middle of some very spontaneous prayers for Jo's baby, when the thunder bolt struck.

It was a sunshower and I was lamenting my inability to hug my pregnant sister and the want to kidnap that sweet baby straight out of the womb, just because. The thunder hollared, You don't mean that!
I was remembering the very first boy that I wished for, Michael. I was remembering Grandma Ruth- Pooh-pooing my tears and implorings and more and more thunder, reminded me that I have been more than compensated for my broken heart, that day. After it was all over and the girls and I reminisced and said, amen to an impromptu prayer for the impossible of seeing that baby in person at birth and the reality of wishing all of the most healthy things happen. We looked outside and the biggest rainbow at the back door behind our house, seemed to say amen with us. We loved that God lets us know He hears.