Daniel
I awoke and after prayer time. There was devastating news in the Eunacy. My dear old man was gone. He had breathed his last and had been found that morning.
I had no idea that it would hit me as hard as it did. I went to the elder facility not fully cleansed or prepped for the day. I had to catch the body before the embalmers. I ran and ran and was out of breath when I got there. They were wheeling the body and I caught them and fell, quite unconsciously over him in a grief that I hadn’t felt since we left Jerusalem some 30 years ago.
We had been like father and son all of these years and his debilitation was a blessing to me for it gave me reason to visit and talk to him semi regularly. They were going to cremate him immediately as was his custom and religious perspective.
I composed myself, before the other elders could see my debasement. The ceiling and the floor seemed to close into me as I imagined the life that I would live without his sage advise to guide me through this vale of tears.
Babylon had been home but treacherous for me these many years and Melzar has been a comfort to us. I hope that we didn’t make his life miserable. We did try to accommodate him and not cost him too much trouble for his superiors. We had to ask him many questions and we were shut up to obey God in many matters. It was Melzar who had to clear our convictions with the higher authorities. We are grateful that he understood our dilemma. We grew to be attached to him as sons and he grew to look out for us as there were many competing interests in Shushan that we became aware of through his kind and fatherly attentions.
I caught that last glimpse of his body and ran back to my room to continue my ordinary preparations for the day. I told my scribe to make notes that letters must be sent to the friends to advise them of our great loss. They were now presidents in other districts and would want to know of this tremendous loss to us.
There wasn’t a time that they came to Shushan that we didn’t all trudge up to Melzars room and reminisce of the fears and trials that were our common past. How would we be able to do that now? There is no safe place to air our convictions and concerns these days. There is no other person in Shushan of the faculty or students who can bear the reality of how differing our views are from the views of the state.
I haven’t time to indulge myself in the sentimentalities that I believe the day deserves. I gave specific instructions to my scribe to collect all of Melzars final belongings and bring them to me by the end of the day.
I went off to my many meetings and classes to teach. I had lesson plans made up that I could instruct by, because my mind was a blur with reminiscenses. I went about my day with barely a foot stepping wrong. Any sentimentality is frowned upon by the elders and there would be consequences for any unaccounted for relationships with people of other stations. I am amazed that they continued to allow the relationship between myself and my compatriots; but we are part of a study to see if they can infiltrate our race with the Babylonian mythologies…. I am aware of their desire to see our faith defiled by the mystical and Thank God He is determined to protect our faith and we have seen that in spite of their constant attacks on our religious perspectives God has faithfully allowed us freedom to pray and to gather when we can and to worship in our singular God apart from the fray of spiritual sensoriousness that exists here.
I walked with intent from the instructional buildings to the governing buildings and then to the aviary. We are encountering some problem with the care of the cranes that needed to be addressed. And the dog training program was next on the schedule for the day. I left the cranes and solved that problem with the scientists at the aviary and my scribe came to me sometime in the midafternoon before I was about to go into the dog shelter.
He was in tears. There was so much that I wanted to get, he said out of breath. Melzar had small statues of each of you and your friends, but his religion says that they must be burned with his body and I hadn’t gotten there before they were all burnt. All that was left was this box with your name on it.
The box was burgundy and had my name engraved in gold on the top of it. His religion allows a single beneficiary and I had been the one he had chosen. What a privilege that with all of the students that Melzar had the responsibility to handle I was his beneficiary. I instructed my scribe to take the box back to the house and I would look at it when I completed my rounds.
The sun was shining and very brightly and it was warm on my face as I sauntered in a leisurely way from building to building over the campus.
The campus felt hollow, somehow without that soaring presence who was the first comfort for the brothers and myself. How could he have left us? I was comforted by the eternal presence and knowing that there is no great gift that wasn’t given by my dearest friend the God of the universe.
I am still confused as to whether or not it was his lot to enter into faith. All that I can say is that God almighty sent him to us and that I am assured that his heart and life were a gift to us and convinces me that God’s heart is broader and wider than I once thought.
I walked across the courtyard and imagine the past where he guided us from place to place. His hand, so black from the sun and his steps so solid and sure, I could not be afraid when he was with us. We walked together and he seemed to know all that there was to know about each of these buildings and all of the elders around us. He taught us the ceremonial rules and clothing requirements. He guided us not to put a foot wrong in the presence of “he who lives forever”.
Oh king, why are the restrictions thus, I often wonder. One wrong foot can get you taken from the earth. It wasn’t by accident that Melzar had lasted so long in the presence. He knew the kingdom and what kept ones head on ones shoulders. In the beginning I ran every request past him. He helped me with phraseology, corrected offensive speech patterns and guided me into the position that I am in now.
He said the kingdom needs you Daniel. Peace and safety is deep in your heart, he said to me one day. This man needs a counselor with this in his heart.
We have had many a bloodbath because of someone with malice in his heart. You are not like that and it would be my pleasure to see you “in the presence” with us. He was determined and I am not sure I really wanted this as much as he did.
The sun was shining and very brightly and it was warm on my face as I sauntered in a leisurely way from building to building over the campus.
The campus felt hollow, somehow without that soaring presence who was the first comfort for the brothers and myself. How could he have left us? I wonder...
