Every March, that is the question that looms in my mind. Where is the glory of God? The answer is, everywhere. The glory of God is in the sense of the wind on my face, the beauty of the raindrops on the ground, the mercy of the warmth of the sun, the smells of the flowers as they bloom. The cave of grief hides your senses from being able to be comforted from these things. All you can feel is the loss. It is like a cement box around you, no feeling and no light can get in there. (Visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction!) Some people have never felt this and they encourage people, with false hopes. It is going to get better...etc. That person is never coming back, while you are on earth. You have to come to grips with that. 21 years later, I still look for him. Are you coming home? No mommy, you are coming home is the answer. That feels backwards, but it is true. March is a time of soul searching. March is a time of change and growth. March is a time of realizing the blessings that have been restored and the glory of God that is revealed, even in the midst of an Ichabod. God is good, all of the time. I have a hard time being good when I am grieving. Thank God that He understands.
Baby steps to marching forth are still progressing.
I know that Jesus is real and ready stands to save us, full of wonder, love and grace. Maternal grief says there is nobody that I want to see, but him, my baby. That is a spiritual sickness and thank God that He has the cures.
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