We were introduced to Pastor Martin the first time. It was a while after our having gone to the church. A young married couple seeking direction to stay married and become a godly family. I was, a fearful person of these people and not aggressive in socialization. My husband, on the other hand was, blessedly affected by the preaching. He was aware that it was directive and concentrated preaching from the Word of God. Because of our upbringing of integration, we had no limits to the lengths that we would go for spiritual food that would give us what we needed. We had figured that, if we had gone to the "ends of the earth" for mental development and education, does not God deserve more of us than that. God did. 6am we woke to travel from Queens to Mid New Jersey for the best preaching and teaching systematic theology and churchmanship and pastoral instruction, that I believe there could have been on the earth. Why we did what we did was explained and proven from scripture and even if we didn't agree we were carried in our consciences that this was a conviction from scripture. Ben went to Pastor Martin and said, somewhat idolizing, yet innocently, "Didn't our hearts burn within us..." Pastor Martin rebuked him sharply, the only thing he could do at such a statement. Hey man, I am not Jesus! was the gist of his response. The instruction was taken to heart and over our time there we would learn that he was mature in the Lord, but certainly not a perfect man and no one is worthy of the praise, but God. Respect, yes, but praise, no. I was the other type of sheep. No idolatry for me. You are just a tool of the Lord and as far as I was concerned, I didn't even want to say hello to such a great man. He could have thought that I was being impolite, but he chose to see shyness. He noticed this also and never let me get back to Queens without a greeting. No matter which door I snuck out of. Godly care was evident on both ends of the spectrum, as was our experience. That is not an easy thing to do.
Distinguished and gifted can be scary and intimidating to people. There can be people who would never have socialized together, except for the grace of God. God used some of the distinguished Christian men in my acquaintance to heal my heart and give me some different pictures of God other than austere and unswerving. I could see gracious and even condescending in some of the experiences of interacting with godly men throughout my life. Fathers and brothers and uncles and other godly relationships that the Lord restored to me, did much to draw me to a more well rounded view of God as the father, teacher, healer, deliverer, friend...
I am indeed grateful and am sure I would have turned away by now from the initial view of God that I had developed in my mind, even from reading the scriptures, minus the godly examples that the Lord tossed my way to direct my thinking from the eskewed views that I had developed. I saw, initially only militant and warrior God. He is so much more merciful, than militant...
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