Our floods of new mercies continues with a beautiful end of the day storm passing our way. It has become so happenstance that the children and my husband are wont to say, Mom is watering the corn that means it is going to rain. And sure enough it does, often to my own incredulity. I have one set of prayers about Gods watering and another set of prayers about negotiating with the angels about seeing some detail in the small scientific occurrences around me and another set of prayers about how motherhood has been the same since the beginning of time.
Faith that God is faithful whether he waters my corn or I water my corn is very important to me, because God doesn't always do what I want him to do. Thy will be done, we pray. Thou art Sovereign and Thou art omnipotent if my desires are fulfilled or not. I struggle so with unbelief and with anger with God, over one very major prayer that was a no that I am reticent to ask anything, sometimes. This usually lasts only for the month of my eclipse of faith and that God has assured me many times that He hears even this unbelief and understands my pained pleas and silent inquiries. Where are you? Almost as if God is Adam and I am God, shame on me. I ask Him though and He says here I am, in the rain, in the beauty of the earth in the reality of restoration and especially in the effectiveness of that pain on the growth of your soul. I know You are there, God and I am very sorry for requesting your answering to little me, when I awake from my angry tirade. He says that He knows it all too well. Mystic sweetest communion is with God first and foremost and He waters my corn in His infinite condescension. Sometimes He has allowed my dear Evvie to break down 10 minutes from our house, when I am pining for a glance at her college smile. He doesn't have to. He just does…Isn't God good? Amen!
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