I guess the fact that I almost died seven years ago and the thin line between acceptance and rejoicing that that didn't happen took a hold of me. God's worship is the place where I can cry out to Him.
It was interesting to me that the infinite Holy Spirit can also be grieved. I saw the progression of grief and grieving in my own soul and the parallel with how the Spirit has dealt with His Church through Church History. I call this the "death of Athenasius" The first step was the acceptance and love of the Holy Spirit in Worship. Like a young couple, spontaneous worship donns the communion of God's people. Then, we grieve Him. What will we do? So often, we replace the spontaneous worship of God with instructions. We make people do what the Holy Spirit makes them do. Stand and worship Him. We command and then we instruct and then we implore and then the silence of death is left, because we have gotten comfortable, with our sins. Carrying the grieving of the Holy Spirit into our worship. God, cleanse us and help us know the spontanaity of alive worship and the Love that God who enters into the worship of His loving people. Death of worship is allowing other generations alone to pen the works of the Lord. We have no new words, like the dictionary in Latin the canon of hymns is closed, because we have grieved the Holy Spirit and tell God what we will say to Him.
Enliven our worship and comfort our hearts to know that You are owning our worship. We love You Lord and we would worship in Spirit and in Truth.
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