I have decided to follow Jesus. I have decided to cast in my lot with the people of God. I have decided to be a Christian. Though baptized in infancy, knowing the Lord and seeking the Lord's Hand to move in my life, is a different impulse than listening and following the crowd, even if they are Christian Crowds.
It takes a lifetime of looking at His perfections and trying to conform your life, a little at a time to get to know Him. The older Saints that I met in early Christian profession didn't steer me wrong to question my knowledge of Him. Sometimes, I have real doubts about my attempts at being a Christian and whether I have decided to follow Jesus at this point or at that point of my life. The most important thing is am I trying to follow Him, today. I am looking at His attributes, which are perfect and putting aside my sins that are so different from my Gracious Savior. It is a dirty work of daily stinky sin dumping, repenting and believing, all over again. So that I can be found, in that day, in Christ and not in my sins. Some days are victorious and some days are a bust. Thank God it is not up to me. He is working in my soul. But, He is not doing it without me."He works in us, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."
"I sought the Lord, and afterward I knew He moved my soul to seek Him, seeking me; It was not I that found, O Saviour true; No, I was found of Thee. Thou didst reach forth Thy hand and mine enfold; I walked and sank not on the stormvexed sea; 'Twas not so much that I on Thee took hold, As Thou, O Lord, on me. I find, I walk, I love; but O the whole Of love is but my answer, Lord, to Thee! For Thou wert long beforehand with my soul; Always Thou lovedst me."
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